This is a book that I wanted to read a long time ago and since it’s been recommended to me by so many people lately, it intrigued me to the point of actually reading it at last. Apparently, there are these principles that, when correctly followed, will make people like you:
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
- Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Although I’ve applied some of the above principles myself, mostly without even noticing, I’m not always in the “making people to like me” mood. On top of that, in the last few year, I have developed an internal filter (like a defense mechanism) that tells me what kind of people I want to attract into liking me and vice versa. I’m not proud of it, but I’m not making a secret out of it either: it works by simply being honest and open and this is not really the recipe for being people’s choice
Just recently I came across a sales person that tried to apply the above principle on me and it made me so furious cause I could tell she’s just faking it. It was so transparent and it hurt me seeing her struggle like that. I prefer to be the recipient of a natural interaction and base my buying decision on something that has substance rather than on an overdone smile. I don’t like kiss-asses. Period.
However, How to Win Friends & Influence People is not just about these 6 principles. Because human interaction is more complex than that, it continues with chapters on:
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
- Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong”
- If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
and many others.
Read it and it will surely trigger an introspect that will hopefully lead to a better you.